Reflection by Michelle Samson

How did this project begin for you?

Before EXOTIC GOODS, Jamie Garcia and I previously worked together on other projects. Usually in the past, Jamie would have an idea, and I would expand on the idea. It was usually a good balance.

Jamie initially reached out to me about a concept she wanted to flesh out and talk through. I thought the concept she presented could be presented in different ways and I felt it could spark conversations that were not necessarily being talked about and needed to be talked about. So I was on board.

Because we needed a photographer, Bruce Allen came to my mind. I felt because he tends to push boundaries with his work, he would work well with the concept that we wanted to present. The addition of Bruce completed our main creative team.

How did your perspective of Asian body image change, or not change throughout the process?

My perspective of Asian body image did not change. Being Asian and a woman, I am already aware about Asian women and fetishization, being singled out, and not fitting in completely. Although I have not directly experienced being fetishized and objectified as an Asian woman, all the different stereotypes about Asian women have been pushed to my consciousness and awareness ever since I was a kid from watching television, reading books, and looking at magazines (more examples later).

Fetishization is part of a broader conversation of race in America and race in general. On the one hand being Asian American, more specifically being Filipina American, I already have to deal with the fact that I don’t necessarily fit into either culture completely. I can be labeled as too American by some Filipinos who were born in the Philippines. To some Filipinos, I am not necessarily a “real” Filipino because I wasn’t born in the Philippines or because I don’t speak the native language. On the other side of the spectrum, growing up I assimilated into American culture, but I also always knew even as a kid being accepted as an American is conditional. Asian Americans are wrongly seen as the “model minority.” But when negative things happen, Asian Americans, no matter how successful they are or how “white” they try to be, can still be seen as outsiders even by other people of color. These experiences are parallel to what some Asian women experience in that they are sometimes seen as not really American because the term “exotic” is usually tied to somebody who is foreign.

Where does fetishization play into my personal experiences? Fetishization is a form of racism. Racial fetishization can come in many forms. For example one stereotype of Asian women is that they are submissive, docile, compliant, accommodating, sweet in the kitchen, tiger in the bedroom. Although I don’t remember being specifically fetishized by others as an Asian woman, I have experienced racism and have observed comments or generalizations about my ethnicity and my race.

One personal experience and observation was from my early twenties. My old roommate, who was a heterosexual, white male, would occasionally mention the fact that he wanted to eventually marry an Asian woman. When I asked him why, he said that Asian women are nice, sweet, can cook really well - all the typical stereotypes of Asian women. When I pointed out that I was Asian and I didn’t have any of those qualities (except for the cooking part), he dismissed my comment and said it was because I was born here in America!

Again, this is going back to my earlier comment about not necessarily belonging to either an Asian or an American culture. Not belonging to an Asian culture because I wasn’t born and raised in an Asian country. And at the same time partaking in all things American - feasting on mac ‘n cheese made out of fake cheese (like the Velveeta cheese blocks), eating tv dinners, riding the yellow school bus to school, reciting the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag, loving The Beatles and overtly hating on the New Kids on the Block fans (but secretly liking their songs anyways), celebrating the Fourth of July - yet being asked, “Where are you from?” even though I was born and raised in America. The question “Where are you from?” reared its annoying head occasionally through my childhood and into adulthood. Most times I would be polite and answer their question. And at some point, the question got annoying and usually followed with a smart ass remark from me. If I was born in America, speak the language, embrace American culture, 1) Why do I need to immediately be asked where I’m from, and 2) Do white and black Americans really see me as American or as a foreigner even though I was born in America? What is my place in America as an Asian American woman to them.

One of my first observations of fetishization, racism, and stereotypes as related to Asian women was through watching movies as a kid. I loved the AMC classic film channel when I was in elementary school. Not many people in the ‘80’s had cable and when we finally got cable, AMC was one of the 36 channels available. A few of the movies I remember watching starred Anna May Wong, who was usually cast as the typical Chinese stereotypes like the exotic slave girl, the villainous Dragon Lady, or the mysterious siren from the Far East with deadly charms. Then, there was Rodger and Hammerstein’s The Flower Drum Song. The main character, Mei Li, was a picture bride. Mei Li’s father pretty much sells her like a prized steer. Also Mei Li is characterized as a docile, delicate flower in direct opposition of another Asian female character who was characterized as the openly sexual dragon lady.

Other instances where I observed Asian women being fetishized was being aware about certain themes being presented in books or theater. Like the common theme where the Asian woman is submissive to a white man and is seen more as an object rather than an individual person. An example is the Broadway musical Miss Saigon. Miss Saigon is a beautiful musical, but it romanticizes the idea of an Asian woman committing suicide because she couldn’t be with a white man.

Although I had my own experiences with racism, I feel most women of all races have experienced fetishization and objectification mainly in the form of unwanted attention from males. Who didn’t go out at night in college and experience at least one cat call from a male. Personally when those types of situations happened to me, I usually ignored the other person and put my walls up so it didn't bother me too much compared to other women in the same situation. However I heard from some people who are not Asian that Asian women should take the comments such as being called “exotic” as compliments. My response to that is it’s not flattering to have your entire race be seen as a sex symbol.

Lastly at a broader level I think what bothered me more was knowing that I didn’t exactly fit in anywhere especially within certain contexts in America. I am 40 years old, was born and raised in America and to this day, I still don’t feel comfortable when I am in a room full of white Americans whether that’s in the workplace or in social situations. I think other Asians feel the same.

If there was one thing you wanted people to walk away from this exhibition/magazine, what would it be?

Hard conversations don’t have to mean confrontational. Honesty and respect can go a long way. Jamie, Bruce, and I lead and participated in a Q&A session during the panel talk for the exhibition. It was engaging and probably could have gone on longer than the allotted time. The gloves were off, it was real, it was authentic, and it was awkward, but no one beat around the bush. It put a smile on my face.

It’s always inspiring to see people tackle hard and uncomfortable issues head on. What I also liked about this conversation was that, on their own volition, I felt everyone left with an “action” whether it be changing something, trying to adjust a behavior, simply deciding to be more aware of certain characteristics, and maybe even ask the question: What can I commit to doing to move this forward?

Fetishization often continues the racism we are attempting to eliminate. It is important to educate others in order to create awareness and adjust behaviors.